You’ve got to be confident to get anywhere in this world! Sound familiar? C’mon, grow a set then start walking the walk and talking the talk. Easy, right? You want to meet that pretty girl sitting all alone at the bar, who won’t be alone for long? Well let’s build up your confidence so you can walk over there and do something about it.
We all know that in order to achieve we need confidence. In order to gain confidence we need to feel we have a strong likelihood of success. In most cases, people have confidence in certain areas of their life, like, for example, their job, and lack confidence in other areas, such as meeting new people. For the purposes of this post, we will focus on the latter of the two.
At GorillaKilla.com we meet each week to discuss topics that most frequently come up when speaking/emailing customers. Customer concerns often sound something like this; “great, now that I have ordered everything I need to take care of all my grooming issues, I just need someone to feed me some lines when meeting girls.”
Building confidence is similar to training for a marathon: you need to do it steps. You don’t decide you are running a marathon and then proceed to run 26 miles your first day out. No, your first goal is to see if you can run a mile without falling apart (milestone). Then maybe run 3 miles, then run 5 miles etc. working your way up to running a marathon.
Let’s start by omitting words that project a lack of confidence. Pay attention and you will be surprised how frequently you use these:
1. Might
2. Likely
3. Impossible
4. Need
5. Won’t
6. Confused
7. Usually
8. Worried
9. Suspect
10. Quandary
In one way or another all the words above project doubt, inability to execute, and an underlying negative tone. All these words leave a question in the recipients mind about you being uncertain. Start catching yourself when using these words and correct yourself. Example: “I might be able to that. Wait, scratch that, I will do that.” Eventually your whole vocabulary will change, followed by your actions.
Here is a list of our 10 favorite exercises to help build confidence:
1) Smile: As much as we would like to list grooming as numero uno, we feel that smiling gives you the greatest return for the effort and is a true win-win. It’s easy and instantly makes you feel better not only about yourself but also as the person your smiling at! And when your smile is returned with a smile, it will build your confidence.
2) Stand tall: Remind yourself to stand up straight, tall and put those shoulders back. Similar to smiling; good posture emits self-confidence. The next attractive person you see, notice how they walk and I confident they will have good posture.
3) Grooming: Of course we could list this as number one and it seems so obvious, but it’s incredible the difference a shower and overall grooming (shave, trim, pluck) can make with your self-confidence.
4) Dress: Taking pride in what you wear will only make you feel good about yourself. Clean and pressed, well presented, ready to conquer the world. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to spend boku bucks, but it does mean putting some thought into your casual clothes being clean and working together.
5) Think positive Thoughts and Get Rid of Negative Ones: They really work together. Visualize a positive outcome as opposed to expecting a negative one. Walk up to that girl all alone at the bar and expect a positive outcome.
6) Speak slowly and clearly: So simple and makes a huge difference in how someone perceives you. When you speak quickly it leaves the impression that you don’t want to waste others time on something not worth hearing. Be careful not to take this so far that you are consuming all the time in a conversation with your deliberate speech.
7) Act positive: So now you’re thinking positive thoughts. What next? Putting those positive thoughts into action. Action being the operative word is the critical to building self-confidence. Start small by talking to people in a positive way, put enthusiasm into your actions. You’ll notice a difference immediately.
8) Focus on solutions: Don’t complain and focus on problems, shift your focus to resolving problems. By staying focused on solutions you build self-confidence and confidence with other. Example: No tables available for you and your date at your favorite restaurant. Instead of thinking the evening is a bust, focus on the solution by saying, great, this gives us the perfect opportunity to try that new Thai place down the street!
9) Exercise: Sorry, you can’t avoid it and why would you want to? By taking three to four weekly walks or jogs, you will feel the benefits of doing something for yourself immediately. Feeling good about doing things for yourself and believing that you deserve it, will help build your self-confidence exponentially.
10) Knowledge: Building on your existing knowledge base is the surest way to empower yourself. Knowledge translates to being more confident. Without knowledge, speaking slowly and clearly (#6) becomes more difficult. With knowledge, focusing on solutions (#8) comes much easier.
Try these tips in steps and understand you build confidence through practice and like Muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it gets!
Start now, with a smile (#1).
I read this. Thank you!