Here at GorillaKilla, we like to stay positive. But sometimes our customers help us take notice of issues we’re otherwise blind to.
We had a call from a customer in Australia inquiring about shipping (a lot of GK fans live Down Under).. At some point, he said he’d followed our tips on “What Every Guy Must Say to a Woman on a First Date” on some recent dates, with great results. We said calmly, “Very cool,” with a mental chaser of HOLY SHIT, because it’s way more than “very cool” that mates from Oz are getting the most out of our posts.
And then our friend asked for this: “What I can use even more is a list of things not to say to girls.”
We discussed it at our weekly board meeting (that’s “dartboards,” if you didn’t already know), and we couldn’t agree more. Here’s why. Men often get it wrong because we’re visual creatures. Think about it: What’s the first thing you usually notice about a woman? They way they look, right? Guess what? Women don’t really want to hear that. Yep. You heard right.
For all you Line Kings (see what we did there? Huh?) out there, we made two lists of things you should never say to women. This week we’ll cover the Obvious. Stay tuned next week for the list of Should Be Obvious.
Please read, think and practice never to say the following at any point when speaking to a woman:
- “Normally [bigger, taller, thinner, smaller, bustier, flatter], girls are not my type.” (Pro tip: Don’t stare at body. Her eyes are up here.)
- Never tell a woman she looks like any celebrity unless that celebrity is universally known as being drop-dead gorgeous. (On second thought, don’t use the celebrity reference; be original with your compliments.)
- “I don’t usually go for [Black; Asian; Latina] girls with [long; short; frizzy] hair, but in your case I’ll make an exception.” (Pro tip: Step out of arm’s reach if this actually comes out of your mouth.)
- “You look like a girl I used to date.”
- Stay away from cheesy pick up lines altogether. “It must have really hurt.” “What?” “When you fell from heaven.”
- “I like a girl with curves.”
- “Would you mind if I touched your hair?” You’re dating, not at a fetishist convention.
- “I think you would look so much prettier not wearing [your hair; makeup; shoes; dresses] like that.”
Still confused? Here’s a good cardinal rule: Don’t be judgmental. And try to stay away from anything that makes it sound like you think you’re God’s gift to women.
Here’s another thing to think about: Since you’re asking for a date, consider upping the ante and putting yourself in a position of vulnerability by asking her key questions. You know, stuff like, “I was wondering if you would like to dance? Or maybe even, “Can I take you out for coffee?”
See? It’s not so hard.
Come back next week for PART II, The Should-Be-Obvious List of Things Never to Say to a Woman.